


King of the Castle

by Hammbone99



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Denial of Feelings, Episode Fix-it, Episode Related, Eventual Romance, First Kiss, First Time, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Oblivious, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:21:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28634646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammbone99/pseuds/Hammbone99
Summary: Richard is proud of his Land Rover motorhome. It's spacious, comfortable, stylish, but also impossible to sleep in. He turns to James for help, and gets more than he bargained for.Based off of the motorhome challenge.
Relationships: Richard Hammond/James May
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter One

“Do you want some help?” James May, seated in a lawn chair, watched Richard Hammond as he began setting up his motorhome creation. “Nope! Don’t need it mate. One man job, this.” Richard answered as he lowered the back panel off his Land Rover. His mates always underestimated his cars when it came to challenges. Hopefully he could impress them with just how brilliant his motorhome was sure to turn out. James leaned back int his seat and cracked open a beer, knowing that his colleague was sure to make a spectacle of himself. 

As Richard stood the metal panel upright, James was able to see window cutouts and brickwork designs pressed onto the sheeting. Richard tied the panels together, forming the beginning of a wall. Leaving the panels standing, he ran quickly back to his Land Rover to grab more sheeting, hoping to make it back before they fell down. Unsurprisingly, they fell over almost immediately. Frowning in disappointment, Richard could hear James snickering from his viewpoint in his chair. 

“You laugh, but just wait! Once this is set up, it’s going to be better than yours and Jeremy’s!” Not letting James’s teasing dampen his excitement, Richard continued to attach his panels together and walls began to take shape. A slight breeze blew through, and the metal sheeting wavered in the wind. Still cold from the lack of working heating in his car, Richard shivered as the air blew by him. He rubbed his hands together, then trotted back to his Land Rover to get more panels. Grabbing hold of one side, Richard reached for the other, but somehow knocked it loose from the Land Rover and it slipped, the metal edge slicing his fingers as it fell. 

“Oww!” he cried out, grabbing his injured hand and holding it close to his chest. Nearly on the verge of tears, he reminded himself he was on camera and took a few breaths. He hoped James hadn’t seen that. “Be brave!” he told himself, clenching his jaw as the pain started to lessen. He found a cloth to wrap his fingers in, hoping he wouldn’t get any infections. He told himself he couldn’t spend too much time on his injury, at least not with James watching. It would only get him made fun of. 

Some time later, Jeremy finally arrived, his ridiculously tall motorhome swaying as he pulled into the lot. He was unimpressed with Richard’s progress, and suggested to James that they go explore the area while he finished his set up. He was glad that Jeremy left; he didn’t need him there to poke fun at all of his mistakes. He was a bit sad that James had chosen to go with Jeremy over staying with him. He told himself it was because he might have needed his help. “Or you wanted to show off more.” He thought to himself, unsure as to why James’s opinion mattered more than Jeremy’s. Probably because it was always him and James against Jeremy, and he enjoyed the competition. He reasoned they wouldn’t be back for a few hours, so there was time to slow down and lessen the chance of anymore injuries. With any luck, they’d have enough mind to bring him some food back. 

_____________________________________

With darkness falling quickly, Richard decided it was time to go about making his bed. The wind was beginning to pick up a bit, but he wasn’t particularly concerned with the weather at the moment. He had plenty of roofing above his head, not to mention much more living space than either of his colleagues. They had retired to their respective motor homes not long after returning from their outing. It seemed fairly obvious to him whose motorhome should win this challenge. If it were going to rain, he felt his home would be up to the challenge. He had hardly finished tucking in his blankets when a strong gust of wind blew through, and he heard a section of roof break off. He headed towards where he’d heard the crash come from, unsure which room had lost its roof. Eventually he discovered that his games room had lost a sheet of its plastic roofing. Not one to be easily discouraged, he quickly replaced the stray roof-piece and checked to make sure it was secure before returning to his bedroom. Shivering as the wind continued to blow, his aluminum walls starting to bend and twist, Richard crawled into bed and hoped the wind would calm down. 

The wind did not calm down; if anything it only got worse. The metal walls and plastic roofing were creating a terrible racket. Thinking of Jeremy’s daily complaints about James’s snoring, Richard couldn’t help feeling that snoring would certainly be preferable to this. His blankets didn’t seem to be providing him any warmth, and it was next to impossible to even try to sleep when he was worried that the roof above his head may blow away. Rolling over, he tried to drown out the turbulence inside his motorhome by holding his pillow over his ears. Then as if on cue, he heard the telltale crash of another piece of roof coming loose. He threw his bedding off with a sigh, wishing he had built a sturdier motorhome. Slightly less enthusiastic than before, he mended the roof panel and caught another one before it too blew off. Climbing back into his bed, he pulled the blankets close and tried to get warm again.

Catching a glimpse of Jeremy’s towering motorhome as he tossed in his bed, he wondered how his colleagues were getting on in the wind. Something told him that neither of them were experiencing the amount of turbulence he was. Jeremy’s leaning tower of Citreon might’ve been impractical on the road, but it did have walls and a roof that didn’t blow off anytime there was a breeze. He supposed he could ask to sleep there for tonight, try to explain to Jeremy that it was far too windy for his own motorhome. But knowing his colleague, Richard figured Jeremy would probably just laugh at him and make fun of his poor planning. Which, he did have to admit, he could have probably been a bit better in terms of weather proofing. Feeling sure Jeremy would be little to no help, that left James and his rocket ship sleeper. 

Richard frowned as a nervous feeling came over him, almost as if his stomach were full of butterflies. Why was he nervous about talking to James? It couldn’t be that he was nervous to ask to share a room with him. All three of them had shared rooms before, even beds at some point. This was nothing new. “It’s probably just the cold,”he though to himself as he warmed his hands in his breath. James was definitely more likely to help him out with trying to find somewhere to sleep. 

Stumbling out of his aluminum castle, Richard headed towards James’s motorhome. The nervous feeling had lessened, leaving him with a smaller, but nonetheless strange feeling in the pit of his stomach as he neared James’s car. He could hear snoring already, but it wasn’t nearly as loud as his metal-walled motorhome had been, and at this point that was all he cared about. 

“James!” Richard whispered, tapping lightly on the side of the pod on the car, “James, wake up!” James continued snoring, unbothered. Rubbing his hands together as the wind continued to blow around him, Richard cursed under his breath as he remembered that James was a rather heavy sleeper. Sighing, he made his way towards the entrance of the pod and tapped a bit louder. 

“May! Come on, man, bloody wake up already!” he hissed, finally resorting to shaking the entire car. At last, hearing movement within the pod, Richard realized he wasn’t sure what he was going to ask James to do about his motorhome’s problem. Would it be weird to ask to share his? Shaking his head, Richard looked up to see James wrapped in a blanket and blinking at him sleepily. The nervous feeling surged back up inside him, and Richard opened his mouth to ask his question, but no sound came out. 

“What is it, mate?” James asked him after a few seconds passed.

“I, uh… I can’t sleep.” He stammered, somewhat lamely.

“Did you forget to bring your bear?” James joked, then looked at him questioningly. “What am I supposed to do about your sleeping problem?”

Richard frowned, feeling that maybe it would have been better to ask Clarkson if he could borrow a hammock after all. He explained, “It’s too windy. My walls are rattling and it’s cold and loud and I can’t sleep at all. Do you think… maybe you could… uh, can I-“

“So your enormous motorhome that you took hours to construct isn’t actually that great, is it then? Maybe my sleek and economical design is superior.” James smirked at him, waiting to hear Richard’s agreement. 

“Well, yeah, I suppose it’s a bit less noisy in there.” He looked at his feet, shuffling, his mouth suddenly dry. Clearing his throat, he looked up at James again, and was surprised to find him meeting his gaze. All of a sudden, Richard was acutely aware of how wonderfully James’s eyes were reflecting the stars. Any idea of what he was going to say left his mind as he stared. 

“How have I never noticed his eyes before? They’re wonderful! Why am I staring at them? Is that weird? Does he know how nice they are?” Richard couldn’t believe it had taken him years to realize how perfect James’s eyes were. 

“So did you come wake me just to tell me I’ve won then?” James’s voice interrupted his thoughts. 

“Ah, no, it’s not- and you haven’t won yet!” Finding his voice again as he dragged his gaze away from James’s eyes, Richard finally managed to get his question out, “I was going to ask if there was any way your motorhome could support another guest.”

“Don’t you think it would be a bit cramped?” James asked, motioning behind him, causing his blanket to slip off of him. Richard’s eyes were pulled towards James’s now exposed pale shoulders. He shook his head to try and rid himself of that strange feeling that had somehow crept back without him noticing. He had seen May shirtless millions of times; why was he finding it so interesting this time? James pulled his blanket back up as a particularly strong gust of wind blew through. Behind them, Richard’s motorhome shuddered and roofing could be heard coming unfastened. 

“Yes, that does sound like it would be a bit rough to sleep in, especially tonight.” James pursed his lips, as if weighing his options. “The thing is, I don’t know how we would both fit in here,” he explained, “But if you really can’t stand to sleep in your own, I suppose we could try it.”

Richard’s heart seemed to skip a beat when James finally offered to let him share his motorhome, and he blamed it on his relief at the chance of a good night’s sleep. He still had that increasingly annoying feeling in his stomach, and he was starting to worry that maybe he had come down with some weird version of traveling sickness. It wouldn’t be unlikely, since he got some sort of sick nearly every time they went on some journey. As if being teased about his height wasn’t enough. 

“…On that side, I’ll stay over here, and I’ll give you a blanket since it seems you hadn’t the mind to bring your own. Just whatever you do, don’t get sick in here.” Richard realized James had been talking while he was busy worrying. He decided it wasn’t worth asking May to repeat himself, and started to climb in. 

“No, Hammond, that side! Have you even listened to a word I’ve said?” James sounded annoyed, but not cross. “Sorry,” Richard mumbled, chuckling nervously, then again tried to climb into the motorhome. 

James held out a blanket, and his fingers brushed Richard’s own as he took it. Richard froze, his hand burning where James had brushed over it. His heart was suddenly pounding, and he could feel his face growing hot. James meanwhile, seemed unbothered, and continued to rearrange his bedding. 

“Of course he’s unbothered; there’s nothing to be bothered about!” He thought to himself. 

Richard climbed the rest of the way inside, and tried to find space enough to lay down. James had turned to face the wall, keeping as far to the side as he could. There was really only room for one person to fit comfortably in the motorhome. Two could fit, as they were proving, but it was far from ideal. Richard stretched his legs out and tried to keep to his own side, facing the opposite wall. James’s motorhome didn’t really have an ideal bed. He shuffled and rolled about as he attempted to find a comfortable position. James was silent now, but he doubted he was asleep yet. The strangely curved walls of the sleeper pod weren’t helping Richard’s efforts towards comfort, and he continued to toss and turn. 

“For Christ’s sake, I’m going to throw you back to the wind if you can’t stay still!” James chided him without moving, still facing the wall. Richard settled momentarily, then resumed his fidgeting, albeit much more slowly. 

“I can still hear you. I thought you wanted to get a good night’s sleep, but all you’ve done so far is move and thrash about!” Throwing his blankets down, James rolled over to face him. His hair was messy from his pillow, and a few strands hung into his face. Richard had the very strange urge to brush them behind James’s ear, and his fingers tingled as he imagined doing just that. He suddenly remembered James had spoken, no, practically shouted at him. He probably was being annoying; but he hadn’t been comfortable!

“It’s not my fault your motorhome is rubbish to sleep in!” Richard complained, throwing his hands out in protest, cracking one off of the supports along the pod. He cried out and clutched his hand, wincing. “Serves you right.” James retorted, turning back over. “It hurt! It’s the hand I sliced earlier” Richard explained, inspecting his hand gingerly. James had rolled to face him again, and reached for his hand. He glanced it over, pressing gently here and there before letting it go. “I think you’re gonna make it,” he remarked sarcastically before returning to his position against the wall. 

After flexing his hand a few more times, just to make sure all was in order, Richard stretched out once more and tried to fall asleep. He could faintly hear the wind blowing through his abandoned motorhome, and wondered how much of his roofing would survive the night. Even without roofing he figured he could still win the competition. There was sure to be more challenges tomorrow, he just hoped they didn’t involve packing up quickly. He sighed, wishing he was asleep already. James wasn’t snoring, so he couldn’t be asleep yet either. At least that meant he wouldn’t be the only one tired tomorrow.

Richard glanced towards James and could make out a human sized lump underneath his blankets. Watching them rise and fall with James’s breathing, that strange feeling began to creep back in. Richard squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to get rid of the annoying tingling. It faded, but remained, and he glanced at James once more. 

“James,” he whispered tentatively, unsure if James was still mad. Without looking at him, James grunted a “What?” in response. 

“I can’t sleep.” 

“What’s the matter now?” Although he no longer sounded quite as annoyed, Richard could still hear the irritation in James’s voice as he turned his head to look towards him. “It’s… too cold.” His statement was more of a question as he struggled to find an excuse for his restlessness. James gave him an odd look. “Really?” 

“Shit.” Richard thought to himself. “James isn’t going to put up with this much longer. I’ve already annoyed him enough, he’s probably going to send me back to my own sorry excuse for a motorhome. Great job, Richard.”

“Come here then.” Richard gathered his blanket and prepared to climb out of James’s pod. Then, realizing he hadn’t actually been kicked out, he froze, and looked to James in bewilderment. 

“Come on then, if you’re cold.” James motioned alongside himself while Richard continued to stare in shock. He was sure James could see the blush coming to his cheeks as he finally began to understand James’s offer. “Uh… isn’t that a bit.. forward?” Richard asked, still surprised James had offered to cuddle him, even if it was for warmth. 

“Only if you make it that way. There’s no cameras in here, and I won’t be telling Jeremy. Are you coming or not?” Richard’s face was still burning, and his heart felt as though it might leap out of his chest. Something inside him really wanted to crawl into James’s arms, be held tightly to him, feel James’s breath on the back of his neck as they drifted off to sleep together. His stomach fluttered at that thought, and he tried to push it away. There was also the part of him that said this was very wrong, something no real man should ever do. He reminded himself that he had shared beds and rooms with James countless times, but still, he supposed this was different. Against his better judgement, he laid back down and moved closer to James. 

“Just… don’t think any gay thoughts or anything.” Not realizing he had said that out loud until he heard James’s chuckling, he blushed again and quickly faced away from James. Expecting that they would lay back to back, he was surprised when he felt James lay his hand over his waist and pull him closer. He was about to protest, but then that tingling feeling returned, and he broke into the smallest of grins. Feeling more confused than he ever had before, Richard sighed lightly and relaxed back into James’s warmth. With James’s breath tickling the back of his neck, he finally drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Blinking himself awake, Richard took a few moments before realizing where he was. Then the deafening snoring hit his ears, and he remembered. James held close to him from behind, his arm still draped over Richard’s waist. He could feel every rise and fall of James’s snoring as they lay together. And for a split second, he considered going back to sleep. It felt early yet, he was very comfortable, and he was still rather tired. A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt. Suddenly he realized what he was thinking, and it hit him that he had spent the night next to James. No, he had slept next to him, basically slept with him. He grimaced as the image in his mind made him blush. There was no way he could really want that. What would people think if they found out he had slept in such close quarters with another man? He sighed and started wriggling himself free from James’s grip. It was a good thing James slept like a rock. 

Clamoring his way out of the motorhome, he wanted nothing more than to get away from James. His face was red and his heart was pounding out of his chest. He couldn’t rid himself of the feeling of James’s arms around him, and even as he neared his own motorhome he swore he could still smell the tinny scent of James’s motorhome mixing with the faint aroma of James’s day old cologne. He could hear James continue to snore, deep sleeper that he was, and Richard was glad. He really didn’t want to speak with James right now. His gut told him he had to get as far away from James as possible. It was either that, or admit he had thought about James in ways no normal person should ever think about their mate. He wanted to get those images out of his head and never think of them again.

Looking towards Jeremy’s camping site, he was surprised to find the tower of flats on its side. He hadn’t even heard it tip over. Apparently James had created the most weather proof motorhome. It had also turned out to be quite comfy too. Though maybe James had helped with the comfy bit. “Shit. Stop thinking about him, you idiot!” Keeping his mind off of James was going to be hard, especially considering they had another few days worth of challenges to do. If he could find Jeremy, maybe he could make fun of his stupid motorhome and stop thinking about James. Unfortunately, Jeremy was nowhere to be seen, and Richard didn’t feel like trying to find a way into the overturned motorhome. Finally reaching the door to his own motorhome, he ran his hands down over his face before stepping inside. Roofing was strewn throughout his many rooms, but none of his walls had fallen over. At least there was that to be glad about. Hoping that work would take his mind off of James, he started tidying his home while waiting for the crew to arrive. He couldn’t clean it too much; the mess would make for a good scene. Deciding that his game room had received the worst of the storm, he set off to collect the roof pieces that had blown across the campsite. 

It wasn’t long before the crew arrived, and Jeremy made a good show of having to climb out of his sideways motorhome. James hadn’t woken up yet, and Richard was still picking up his roofing. He kept glancing towards James’s car, cursing himself each time he did. Anytime he looked over, his stomach would flip and his cheeks would redden as he imagined situations involving himself and James that weren’t quite fit for a motoring program. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with him today; and yet he was anxious to see him again. He couldn’t admit it, but he had very much enjoyed cuddling with James, and he almost wanted to do it again. The only person he could think about was James, the one thing he wished he could forget right now. “It’s not right to think things like that. Not about your colleague, one of your best mates! You wouldn’t think of Jeremy that way, would you? Stop being an idiot!” He tried to lose himself in work again, making all his roof pieces extra secure. After a while, he noticed Jeremy had begun making his way towards him, a mischievous look on his face. 

“It seems Captain Slow has decided not to join us this morning. I think we ought to pay him a visit.” Revealing a hammer in one hand, he motioned towards James’s motorhome. 

Normally, Richard would jump at any chance to sabotage either of his colleagues. Instead, he hesitated, unsure if he wanted to risk talking to James with those images still so fresh in his mind. But he didn’t want to have to explain anything to Jeremy, so he reluctantly agreed. Jeremy either didn’t notice his reluctance, or didn’t care, which was more likely. He led the way to James’s car, excited to do whatever it was they were about to do. 

“So what’s the plan?” Richard asked, not bothering to whisper. James’s snoring had lessened considerably, but he was still clearly asleep. 

“I think he needs a wake up call!” Jeremy handed Richard another hammer before moving towards the front of the car. “On three. One, two, three!” They both swung their hammers onto James’s car, creating a heavy bang. Waiting a few seconds, they looked at each other before swinging again, and then a third time. When James still didn’t wake up, Jeremy began to hit the car repeatedly, leaving dents along the doors. 

“I know the man’s a heavy sleeper, but Jesus, this is a bit ridiculous!” He said, looking exasperated. “Hang on, I’ve got an idea.” Richard suggested, handing his hammer back to Jeremy. Taking hold of the sleeper pod on top of the car, he started rocking it back and forth. Almost immediately, James’s snoring stopped and they could hear him shouting from within as Jeremy joined in and shook the entire car. 

“How did you know that would work?” Jeremy asked, laughing at James’s cursing inside the motorhome. “Just a good guess” Richard answered. He couldn’t explain how he knew without Jeremy asking too many questions. His face grew hot as he remembered how James had held him last night, and how he had actually enjoyed it. He had to stop thinking about it. It wasn’t doing him any favors, and he didn’t want it to lead to him doing something stupid. James had probably just been cold, like he had been, and there was no way he was going to have any weird thoughts about the whole thing. 

James had finally emerged from the motorhome, and was busy yelling at Jeremy for the dents in his car. Richard decided now was a good time to leave, hopefully before James realized he had helped in the hammer prank. He turned and started trying to sneak back to his own motorhome. 

“Not so fast, Hammond! I assume you were in on this?” James called to him, and Richard stopped but didn’t turn. “Nope, ah, I was just passing through.” He tried, ducking his head. He hoped James would let him off easy. “Right.” Clearly he hadn’t believed him. “I’ll get you back later, just wait.” James promised, and Richard swore he saw him wink. But it was probably his already mad imagination playing with him. James resumed berating Jeremy, and Richard quickly returned to his campsite, wondering what it was that James was planning to get him back with. 

Within the hour, all three of them were receiving their next challenge from a man in white coat. Jeremy accepted the envelope, and opened it slowly, making a big deal of doing so. 

“Oh, get on with it!” Richard exclaimed, crossing his arms. He wanted to get into his car and away from both of them at this point. 

“Right.” Jeremy said, smirking at Hammond’s outburst. “We now have to pack up our motorhome and travel to another campsite, 100 miles away, where we will prepare dinner for each other using our motorhomes.” Throwing the card into the air, he scoffed, “Easy!” 

“I hate to say it, but I think my motorhome might do the best at this.” James boasted, “I have nothing to pack and I’m I’ve been the right way up the entire time.” Jeremy rolled his eyes at James’s boasting and turned towards his Citreon. 

“Hammond, you might have some trouble, mate.” James didn’t sound patronizing, but Richard felt himself bristle as James took a step in his direction. “No problems, actually. I designed it so it could do a bug out if needed.” He forced his voice to remain steady even as his heartbeat picked up. James was standing with his hands on his hips, leaning on one leg with the other out to the side. It was nothing new, but Richard couldn’t stop staring at the way the sun shone on his windblown hair. He imagined James’s hands holding his own hips, how they might feel on his bare skin, how they might feel across his chest, or what his lips would feel like… 

He shook his head and subconsciously mirrored James, taking the same pose, then quickly realized and crossed his arms again. James hadn’t said anything, but Richard could feel his cheeks reddening under James’s steady gaze. “So, um, what have you done to Jeremy’s car then?” James looked confused, and he explained, “You know, to get back for the hammering.” 

“I haven’t done it yet, but I’m about to ruin his heater.” 

“Good idea,” Richard gave a nervous laugh, then scratched his head. “I’ll let you to it.” He made it to his Land Rover and let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and pursed his lips. This was going to be a hard day. 

__________________________________________________

“James May, I am going to murder you tonight while you sleep in that stupid motorhome of yours.” Richard groaned to himself as Jeremy complained about his car for the millionth time that hour. The Citreon’s heating had been locked into the highest level, meaning that inside the car was unbearably hot, and Jeremy was less then delighted about it. Luckily, the Land Rover’s heating was subpar, and downright incapable of producing heat like the Citreon, especially considering it was the opposite of airtight with the motorhome attatchment. So Richard still had yet to find out what James had planned to get back at him. He hated having to wait for surprises, even if they were unpleasant ones. He would really rather get it over with. 

“If you don’t pass out first.” James radioed back, and the silence that followed meant that for once Jeremy had nothing to say. They had been driving for about two hours, but only covered half the distance they needed to today. The going was slow, and made worse by Jeremy’s constant complaining. 

“James, you’ve broken my car.” Jeremy’s voice came over the radio again, and Richard rolled his eyes. This was getting redundant. 

“Yes, Jeremy, James and I have heard it all morning. A little bit of heat has broken your car.” 

“No, I mean it. I’m having big flashing lights on in my car.” Most times, Richard would feel at least a little bad for his mates when they ran into car trouble. This time, he had no pity. 

“Oh well. I guess you’ll have to stop. Bad luck then.” He snickered to himself and then pulled out around Jeremy and behind James. 

“We’ll see you at the new site.” James radioed. “Or not.” 

The two of them continued towards their destination without Jeremy, but soon had to stop at a petrol station. Richard wasn’t excited to have to interact face to face with James again. Neither of their motorhomes had very practical refueling procedures, so the pit stop was sure to be annoyingly long. He pulled in and reluctantly got out of his car, hoping James would be too focused on refueling for conversation. He selected his fuel grade and snuck a glance towards James’s car. He was relieved to see him occupied with getting his gas cap open. Leaving his keys on the bonnet, he crawled into the back of his now empty Land Rover with the pump in hand. When he looked up, he was surprised to see James coming his way. He quickly looked back down towards the pump, and did his best to look concentrated. 

“How’s the ride?” James’s voice came from outside the thin metal sheeting on what remained of his motorhome. 

“Oh, hello James, I didn’t see you there. I thought you were busy with your own car. You know, petrol and all. Mine is fine, by the way, just a bit chilly, how is yours?” Richard cursed himself silently, knowing too well he had overplayed it. James looked confused, but laughed and answered, “It’s great, actually.” He paused long enough for Richard to look up at him, then continued, “I thought you looked like you needed some help.” 

“Help with what? I’ve nearly finished!” Richard asked incredulously. James grinned at him and help up a set of keys. 

“Car keys? Are they mine?” Knowing he had Richard’s full attention now, James reached up onto the top of the pump and dangled the keys. “James! They’re not mine, are they?” James didn’t answer; instead he dropped the keys on top of the pump and crossed his arms. 

“You bastard!” Richard started climbing out of the back of his Land Rover. “How the fuck am I supposed to finish the fucking challenge if I don’t have my goddamn keys?” He put the pump back and tried to reach his keys. 

“James, come on mate, get me my fucking keys, man. Don’t make me wait for Jeremy!” 

“What makes you think he’ll help you?” James asked, unbothered by Richard’s protests. “You’re right, he wouldn’t.” He agreed after a moments thought. “That’s why you’ve got to give me them!” James made a show of considering his request, then shook his head. “I think this is what’s called payback, Hammond.”

James’s voice had a dangerous sounding edge to it that Richard couldn’t remember ever hearing before, and it gave him that strange feeling in his stomach. He tried again to reach for his keys, wanting to drive away from James and forget the way he made him feel, but he wasn’t tall enough to reach the top of the pump. He gave a half-hearted hop to try and see over, but to no avail. James, meanwhile, was simply watching him struggle, a smug look on his face. But unlike Jeremy’s smug face, Richard didn’t want to punch it off of him. Rather unfortunately, he imagined grabbing James by his stupid face and kissing the smugness right off him. Apparently, he liked this idea more than he would willingly admit, and his jeans suddenly started to feel tighter.

“James, please!” Richard pleaded, desperately hoping James wouldn’t notice his newest problem. “Well would you look at that," Richard's heart stopped, "Jeremy has caught us up!” James exclaimed, pointing behind Richard. “I don’t know about you, but I won’t be staying to welcome him.” Reaching up, he finally knocked the keys onto the ground and then walked back to his car. Richard breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed his keys before scrambling into the Land Rover again. He and James pulled out of the service station just as Jeremy was starting to refuel. 

Sadly, their peace didn’t last long as Jeremy caught them again a few miles down the road. It wasn’t long before he was on the radio as usual. 

“I’m sure you both will be pleased to find out that I have mended my car.” 

“We can see that.” Richard wasn’t sure it he preferred boasting or complaining. He sighed as Jeremy’s voice came over the radio yet again. “Well yes there’s that, but I meant my heating is normal now. I’ve mended it! James didn’t break it enough.” 

“I’m so upset.” Richard could imagine James rolling his eyes as he answered. “It’s too bad you’re not short, Jeremy. I got Hammond good earlier.” Richard blushed and wondered if James knew how good he had really gotten him. He adjusted his jeans as they started growing tight again, and cursed himself as the friction only served to worsen his situation. His two colleagues continued to argue, but he wasn't listening anymore. 

Knowing he had to do something about the growing problem in between his legs, he pulled his mic off and tossed it into the passenger seat. The sound crew would kill him later, but that wasn’t top priority right now. He reached across the car and flipped off his camera as well, having given up trying to give a real commentary. Looking for a small, empty backroad, he turned down the first one he found. 

“Hammond.” Richard jumped at the sound of James on the radio. He loved hearing his name in James’s voice. “Where are you going?” 

“Out for a piss.” His mouth was dry. “Back in a few.” He lied, swallowing nervously, and hoped his voice wasn’t too shaky. “We won’t be waiting,” Jeremy chimed in, and James added an “Affirmative”. Richard let out a sigh of relief that they hadn’t asked any further questions. He drove down the road a ways, until he could no longer see the main road, and then pulled off onto the side of the road.

With the keys still in the ignition, Richard pulled the hand break and unbuckled. He slouched low in his seat, his erection straining painfully against his pants. James had no idea what he had done to him. Rubbing his hand across his growing bulge, he bit back a moan and imagined it was James’s hand instead of his own. He unzipped his pants and reached into his boxers, his cold hands sending goosebumps down his thighs. Gripping his already hard cock, he gave it a few tugs before pulling it out into the crisp night air that had permeated his less than weather proof Land Rover. He drew in a sharp breath as the shock of the air hit, made worse by his cold hands. He finally gave in and let himself imagine what he had been wanting to all day, and images of James came flooding in. It was James’s hand on his cock, not his own, as he stroked himself; and his moans gradually turned into James’s name. 

He brushed his thumb across the tip of his cock to wipe away the precum, and shuddered as he imagined James’s mouth instead. He remembered how strong James’s arms had felt as they had held him, and how wonderfully he had smelled even at the end of a long day of driving. He imagined what kissing him would be like, how soft his lips would be, how he would taste, and how amazingly his eyes had reflected the night sky. His pace quickened, and he bucked his hips as a wave of lust passed over him. It was honestly embarrassing just how badly he wanted James May, but he could worry about that later. Right now, if he closed his eyes, James was the one bringing him closer to climax as he pumped his fist up and down. 

He bit his lip to muffle another moan as he felt pressure building inside his groin. He was so close. “Fuck, James, this is what you do to me...” He murmured breathelessly, stroking himself faster. With one final thrust of his hips, he came all over his hand, whispering James’s name. He sat there for a few minutes breathing heavily, and cursing James May for being the way he was.


End file.
